1) I think most DIY machines use settings between 20-50 inches/s^2. Generally, the higher the better, but with most hobby level controls using trapezoidal (linear) acceleration, many people run into issues with the machine shaking at higher accelerations.
2) It depends, but I doubt that you'd ever see more than 20 lbs of force, 30 max. That would be taking deep cuts, with 1/2" diameter tooling, at a pretty good rate.
Spindle power, machine rigidity, holddown, all play a role here.
Why would you want to go lighter on motors? What pitch ballscrews? What kind of speeds do you want?I'm targeting NEMA 23 motors, but wondering if I can get away with less than 350 oz-in.