So I ended up calling the nice people at Gecko drives and they said "we will have someone from tech support call you back".
Less than an hour later, M himself called to discuss drives, cnc, motors, etc, in quite a lot of detail. When I say detail, I mean we outlined everything and every setting, the math and logic, etc.
Frankly I consider this to be an honor, because pretty much everything that I know on the subject has come from reading his papers and posts on the subject.
What a great guy and great customer support.
By the time we were finished, there was no doubt that the GR214V was the way to go, and I purchased 5 of them a few minutes ago.
In case it is interesting for anyone else, my decision points were:
1) Protection - My son and I don't build that many of these cnc units, and his friends also will want to help. By purchasing the higher end units, it reduces the agony of potentially wiring things incorrectly. There were lower cost options that could have worked as well, but I want to reduce the risk of starting / stopping the project when we get time to work on it.
2) Ease of hookup - I like the horizontal version that has very easy to access screw terminals. It isn't completely obvious until you get into it, but the way the terminals are organized, the wiring flows "through" the 214V so a more clear in/out for layout.
3) Software sophistication. - The 214 has a dramatically larger internal capacity to hold algorithms than the 213, and this has been used to do much higher level control and resonance reduction.
4) Cover - I actually liked the 213 version for this aspect better, but he pointed out that the cover on the 213 is somewhat cosmetic and won't keep dust out. In other words, either way I need to mount it away from dust.
5) Size / heat sink mount - The 214 is slightly larger, so it won't fit on the 213's heat sink. Mariss pointed out that the transistor used in the 214 is slightly larger, and being a more modern offering, it is dramatically more efficient / less heat. It is so efficient that for the 3.5 amp motors we are using, most likely we will not even need a heat sink. I will put one on anyway, but that is a nice feature.
6) Proven - Both the G213V and GR214V are well proven and used in industrial / commercial use. The GR214V is a substantially more modern product (over 10 years newer) so in my mind, this means that it is likely to be around longer into the future as well.
7) Commonality - I am not 100% sure on this, but I have the impression that the software algorithms used in the GR214V are the same ones used in their other "modern" products. The G213V is a good product, but due to processor limits, it simply cannot run these modern algorithms.
Probably there are other reasons that I have not mentioned, but these are the highlights of my decision in case anyone else is wondering about this choice.
Harry N