OK, so I'm an idiot... I went back over my original set up and found my logic fault. it was the e-stop set up. every thing is behaving properly now. I knew it would be something simple, that at one time I had misconstrued.
I still have a few things to do to get this thing ready to go into production. spindle, lube system, limits and home switches. once I get all that arranged, I'll shoot some video of the machine under power. thanks for all your help.