UK Smoking Ban increases Global Warming. Eeek!

[ImanCarrot]

You may be aware that here in England they have introduced a smoking ban in all public places (specificaly pubs).

Well, I was in a pub yesterday and was smoking outside in the beer garden and was pleased to be nice and warm due to the 10 (yes ten) electric radiator heaters (like the ones you get in bathrooms) that were strategicaly placed around the tables OUTSIDE).

These were noted to be operated by individual switches ("these heaters are for your convenience, please use as required") and are generaly ON from 11:30 am to 11:30 pm.

So I went to another pub (such is my dedication to research) and noted that they had 4 of them big calor gas heaters with the big reflectors at the top). Continualy on.

I was getting a bit concerned that my switching over from normal light bulbs to those crappy enery saving ones might be, well a drop in the ocean, so decided (in the interests of scientific research, of course) to visit a few more pubs.

One more had the gas patio heaters and the 4th one I staggered into (sorry, investigated) had the outdoor electrical heaters and a big screen outside!

Unfortunately, my research was terminated at this point cos Man City were playing Man U on the (outside) telly.

Nice to know that the tree huggers to advocate banning smoking cos it polutes their clothes/ lungs have caused a prospective huge increase in wasted energy heating patios and pub gardens.

I want a research grant from Greenpeace to wander round pubs and collect data on this terribly worrying phenomenon- 3 years should do it (might need an assistant- my girlfriend qualifies...). Thanks.

***end of grumbly old man rant***

[pointcloud]

LOL... I hear you man...

Have they though of the TAXES that they're going to loss from basically outlawing smoking? I think that in the US it will be billions of $'s.

My question is when I quit smoking is there anyone who "WANTS" to cover the part I was paying for smoking, $2 per pack in taxes?

[MIKE JEFFERS]

superb, love your thinking there m8
suppose if you can get a grant to invertigate the effects of milk on cornflakes
then who knows ,its a big trough get yer nose in

mike

[dertsap]

if the granting includes free beer and smokes i'd like to volunteer and help the cause

i'm sure those gas heaters don t have near the effect our old pit parties had , the fire couldn t get big enough yet it was too hot to get close enough to add more wood, tires etc what ever burned
ah good times

[epineh]

I have to respect your dedication to thoroughly researching the topic, I think more research is required though, possibly by all of us, though I think that even though it is winter here (well nearing the end), living in a wet tropical region, I'm not too sure about how many heaters I will find.

But we must check

Russell.

[ImanCarrot]

Aha! Epineh, I see you have the true spirit and cohesive arguementative skills needed by our fledgling organisation.

Along with our appointed board of directors, Pointclod, Dertsap and Mike Jeffers (oh and all your significant others for tax purposes) we should be able to lobby congress, the UN, Oxfam and Greenpeace, and any other tree hugger organisation for what I (as chief scaremonger) propose to be the sole saviour of the planet- the "Dynamic Reduction In Nasty Karcinogens" or DRINK.

We shall boycot non DRINK organisations (or get others to do it actualy while we rigorously research DRINK) We shall agressively advocate having as much DRINK as physicaly possible and on as much occasions as budgetary constraints allow (we can overun on budget- sod it, all govts do it, we would be considered irresponsible if we didn't).

I propose we be based in the Congo so that we receive Third World Aid and get a superflous set of sychophantic psychologists to promote our cause along with Sachi and Sachi (phew, ran out os s's).

I'm taking spread betting on how long it takes 'till I get either a) arrested or b) a Peerage

[epineh]

Well the tree huggers in this country have already participated in DRINK programs of their own, and are fully supportive of smoking in general, so much in fact they like to grow their own "special" low greenhouse brand - Green Under Nourished Jamacian Apple... or GUNJA for short.

I'n not too sure if that translates for you but there you go

As a non smoker it seems a little weird jumping on this bandwagon, but for the sake of balance I will do what I can...for balance.

Now to go research...never said I was a non-DRINKer !

Russell.

[Geof]

...I'm taking spread betting on how long it takes 'till I get either a) arrested or b) a Peerage

The Pee rage will probably occur very quickly.

[ImanCarrot]

LMAO @ Pee Rage.

A doctor mate of mine told me how this happens... apparently you have chemical inhibitors in your bladder that block the "brain! need to pee" message until it's sort of full. However, upon drinking lots of beer you flush these inhibitors out and so... once you go for the first pee, you inevitably have to go every ten mins or so (I swear that's what he said).

As an aside.. I just found out that here, in the UK, the Govt is actualy employing people to check whether pubs are complying with the ban- secretly.

Can you just see the Job Description?

WANTED:
Male/ Female over 18 to wander about pubs and drink lots of beer. Dress code essential- must be scruffy and carrying copy of the Sun newspaper with betting slips sticking out of back pocket. Swearing and cursing at the recent footbal results is a must for this highly sought after position. Transport will be provided in the form of taxis everywhere (London pizza and kebab allowance applies). Priority will be given to candidates who can demonstrate the ability to chat up barmaids and complain about their girlfriend/ wife. Linguistic ability to talk pish a distinct advantage.

*falls off his lab chair* lol

[Geof]

LMAO @ Pee Rage.

A doctor mate of mine told me how this happens... apparently you have chemical inhibitors in your bladder that block the "brain! need to pee" message until it's sort of full. However, upon drinking lots of beer you flush these inhibitors out and so...

I believe that. After all when you are drinking pretty much all the inhibitors for anything are flushed out.

[Klox]

Green Under Nourished Jamacian Apple... or GUNJA for short

Russel, good on you m8! Here in NZ we call it a "west coast crop". It's part of the government's program to promote self sustainable farming methods...... It's a real imaginative effort from government's side but it's the farming communities that pushes the bounderaries of imaginative capatilism, "high flying" etc, etc. They even caused job creation for the police! To such an extent that the law enforcement segment are helping to set alight (from time to time) this unique sector of agriculture......

[skippy]

Electric radiator heaters in the middle of summer? Am I missing something?