The most used connectors are probably the 9 pin D-SUB male and female or
a 5 pin microphone connector male and female. You can find them on Ebay
simply by searching for them. There really is no standard for the connectors.
Use what you can find that has the appropriate number of pins and is available. Minimum wire size IMO is 20 gauge but I prefer 18 gauge as the minimum. Wire should be shielded with the shield connected to ground at the driver but not connected to anything at the motor. Good luck on your