Laws Of The Natural Universe

[alnicov]

Something to ponder while the machine is running.....


LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will bounce to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (Works every time).

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters. The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

[lakeside]

Lets Not Forget The Law Of Common Sence It Has No Place At Work When Dealing With Boss

[CNCRob]

Good laws, one more is the warranty, as soon as the warranty runs out, what ever the warranty was on will break. Or in my case as soon as you throw away the warranty renewal papers on the refreege the icemaker will stop working 2 days later. Which really happened to me about a week and a half ago, The warranty would have cost $58 the part to fix it cost about $65 with shipping. Just my luck.

[CNCRob]

Forgot to mention the warranty on my house ran out in Aug last year, Today I noticed about 6 rows of shingles about 2 collums wide came loose. This hasn't been a very good month for me.

[posix]

Law of Close Encounters. The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

This happened last night - 3 times over!

[posix]

There's one more for the students out there:
Law of bus stations: A bus will arrive as soon as you light a cigarette.

[CNCRob]

I actually had a bit of good luck today, This afternoon I called the guy that installed the shingles and ask how much he would want to fix them. He gave me a surprising answer,He said they shouldn't have came loose this soon and he said he would fix it for free as soon as the weather clears up here. Not many people take that kind of pride in their work anymore.

[miljnor]

And this one Happens to me every time.

Pick the most untraveled loneliest spot on the planet to "get away from it all" and thats the week the sierra club or some off roading club decides to camp at that location!

I must have a people magnet on me because the more I want to be alone the more people want to visit (usually directly proportional to their anoying questions).

[spalm]

CNCRob that is great news. That is the way things are supposed to work. Remember to teach our kids, apprentices, fellow workers (and anyone else who will listen) to have that kind of class and “stand by your work”.

Steve