New physics phenomenon!

[posix]

Originally Posted by sbrpollock Tell The Truth Now: How many times have you each looked and looked for something, and after searching the whole house repeatedly, found it was in the FIRST place you looked after all ?!?!

You didn't read the theory thoroughly!

"...At the same time nth item is invaribaly found - if ever due to exponentally long t, often approaching infinity - at location A +/-1% i.e. right under your nose"

[posix]

To formulate, so we have no misconceptions here:

B={b..b^n-1}=box of items

A^[bi]=location of item

t=time

and

A^[B]=location of spilt box

A^[b']=location where item b' is found

x=size of b

y=value of b

c=new item

t^~=suicide

let b'=b+1 and t'=t^[b']

thus we have

t'=t^t*(x*y)

Also

A^n-1=A^B +/-1%

albeit

t^[n]=t^{[n-1]t[n-1]*(x*y)}=~
where due to quantum displacement

tⁿ=t^[c]

[posix]

I have forgotten to factor in a scenario if a colourful carpet is underneath location A^[B].
Then time t^[n-2] is approaching infinity and t^[n-1] is actually greater than infinity (~) rather than just approaching it.

[miljnor]

And don't forget if t[n-2] is approaching infinity and Iam=self and Iam->t[n-2] then Iam-> insanity

so when all is said and done t[n-2]=insanity.

In conclusion when you do find b you will be far from sane!

[posix]

Well, since insanity I is a constant I felt no need to include it in the equations since it is directly proportional to n and x. However intensity of I i^[I] does increase exponentially with the arrival of t^[n-2].

This is where the theory of finding love comes into play and no matter how great love L of a family member g violence-induced injury rate r is equal or greater than i^[I] at t^[n-2].

[HayTay]

Albert Einstein is attributed with stating,

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

and

"There is a fine line between genius and insanity."


We all know we will never find those dropped/missing items by looking for them, and yet, day after day, from different positions, with different lighting, eliciting help from co-workers & family members, even in locations that would have been impossible for the items to have fallen to, we will continue to look for the lost items. We can keep "looking" an infinitely long time for those dropped objects and wind up on the 13th floor of our local mental hospital (see Al's definition of insanity quoted above). What we really need to do, though, is start thinking outside the box for a solution (reference Al's second quote).


Methods for going from Infinity to Today

Solution #1
We've all been going about this incorrectly and using the wrong "sense organ" to find the missing items! What we need to do is involve the other senses, namely "hearing" and "smell". That's right, just "listen" and "sniff" for the dropped items instead. Follow this procedure: drag out your expensive vacuum cleaner, power it on, move the vacuum in a random pattern over the drop zone and in no time the item(s) will be located. Just listen for the sickening crunch followed by continuous grinding noise and the nauseous stench. Voila! The items are found in no time. Then, it's off to "find" a new vacuum cleaner.

Solution #2
This solution is generally less effective than proposed Solution #1 but in certain cases can provide quicker results, thereby, reducing the time to infinity. Mathematically speaking, time to infinity is inversely proportional to the sharpness of the lost object. This method for locating objects is commonly referred to as the "BARE FOOT METHOD". Again, don't "look" for those sharp or pointed objects, remove those shoes and socks and move about. The item will most likely be located before completely removing the shoe and sock from the other foot. If both feet are now bare and the item has not been located, do not despair, just repeat the procedure carrying a hot bowl of soup and a full glass of grape juice (with or without fermentation). Again, if the item is still not found, do not despair, just pick up the heaviest item you can carry and try again. If failure persists, resort to Method #1.

Solution #3
Not a preferred solution. This solution must be watched very carefully! No, not to see how it is done. You will never figure out how this solution is accomplished no matter how close you watch or how hard you try. Even taping the finding method and reviewing it in slow motion will not reveal how it is accomplished so don't waste your time. You must watch very closely so that you can retrieve the item after it appears but before it disappears again. Again, this is not a preferred solution as it involves small children (< 3 yrs. old) and puppies (< 1 yr old). Let the little tykes/critters roam free in the area. You must watch closely so that you can jump in and retrieve the items after they are found but BEFORE THEY ARE SWALLOWED. Note: this solution may not be readily available to everyone.

Also note: The chance of finding a lost item is inversely proportional to the desire/need of said item. That is why purchasing a replacement item increases the chances of finding the original lost item. Better yet, while you're buying a replacement, buy a lot more than you need.

Another note: Quit looking for the item, absolutely, positively and unequivocally. You don't need it or want it back, ever. Don't even think about it. Not even one random thought about what was lost can enter your mind or you will have to start all over. See, it was right there all along.

Yet another note: The more embarrassing a lost item is the greater the chance of having the item found by someone else.


Not to be taken too seriously,

HayTay