Andrew I sympathize with you, I am just beginning to get a grip on the feeds/speeds/doc thing, I try to be conservative since I am not in a production mode though. You did not mention what problems you are having but I have used a load per flute of .0015 with a .125 DOC and 3900rpm in 6061 for a .250 2flute carbide end mill.
Here is a very useful free download if you do not already have it, he is a very nice guy and very helpful as well, spend a little time learning the program and it is quite easy to follow. Specs for drilling, tapping, milling, facing/ reaming etc.
ME Consultant 2.0
http://mrainey.freeservers.com/
Ken