8 cups of flour
4 large eggs
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
Lemon juice
1 bottle Jack Daniel's Whiskey
Sample the Jack Daniel's to check quality. Take out a large bowl. Check the Jack Daniel's again - to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...
Beat one cup of butter in a large bowl until fluffy.
Add one teaspoon of sugar...
Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Jack Daniel's is still OK, try another cup ... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Jack Daniel's to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the JackDaniel's. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Dack Janiels and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
A recipe to make every Holiday Merrier (not just Christmas). I even like to make these after a rough day at work...
