Hi,
Im in Ireland and am going to build the Solsylva.
Solsylva Manual:
The manual and instructions are excellent. I can't say any more than that. They are clear and step by step, although I am just finishing my electronics and have'nt started on the actual solsylva machine yet. I do think I may have some minor problems with getting parts as per the manual, because in Europe they have different names and dimensions. But differently named parts is a problem we would probably suffer with most designs on the web, as it seems the Americans are much more into DIY routers than us Europeans. So ignoring the headache of sorting parts, at least with the solsylva machine you have good clear instructions and you can contact David Steel if you need help after buying the plans. I bought the plans in the hope that if I didn't use them, they would at least help me understand whats involved better, and they did that easily. They are very good value.
Electronics:
I originally wanted the Xylotex System but as you know they are not RoHS compliant and can't ship to the EU. You mentioned that you can get around this with a business address in the US, but be careful in the unlikely event that customs opens the package and slaps a hefty fine on your business for illegal imports!

I ended up getting the HCNC kit, but obviously thats a lot more work, as you have to put it together. However, that has also helped my learning curve about cnc routers.
Software:
I can only really tell you what Im going to use and try to answer any questions then. What software you use is dependant upon your application. In my case I hope to carve signs and gates. (Im building another larger router later

)
I have a variety of programs overall Im going to use:
1) Silo 3D to create 3D designs.
http://www.nevercenter.com/
2) A program to create 2D designs. (Maybe CorelDraw)
3) Inkscape to convert 2D drawings into 'vectors'.
http://www.inkscape.org/
4) A CAM program to generate toolpaths for my 3D designs. (Undecided - But there are many out there....BOBCAD/CAM...Rhino....etc etc)
5) VectorArt3D to buy and use 3D designs.
http://www.vectorart3d.com/
6) VCarvePro to create carvings and output G'Code.
http://www.vectric.com/WebSite/Vectr.../vcp_index.htm
7) Mach3 to actually drive the machine using the G-Code.
http://www.machsupport.com/
Essentially,
You need a design to cut.
It has to be made up of 'vectors', not 'pixels'.
You need to turn it into toolpaths.
You need to save the toolpaths in a format that your driver software can read.
You need software to then read that and drive the machine.